I have personally considered myself very much a feminist since around second grade. I recognize the need for a continued struggle for women’s rights. Despite that, this site is not at all meant to be a feminist site. This is merely a tribute to the kind of girls that I find the most attractive, without any political agenda to it.

However, it has come to my attention that some people would still view this as a feminist site. And that got me thinking.

Why is it ok for me to like strong, intelligent women who enjoy science and/or working with tools, computers, making art, and so on? I have exclusively had girlfriends like that, and they are the only girls that I pursue, and this seems to not only be ok, but is considered by many as a very good thing, even the mark of a feminist.

Of course I agree that it is good, since it is the kind of girls I like. And as previously mentioned I am a feminist. But is my preference in women a part of that? Maybe. But let me ask a series of rhetorical questions before discussing that further.

Why is it ok for me to tell people that I think that Scottie Chapman looks extra attractive when she is in the workshop welding, but when some other guy says that he thinks that a woman looks totally hot by the stove cooking a nice meal, that is not ok?

Why is it considered admirable of me to like highly intelligent women, while guys who like girls with really big breasts are considered considerably less than admirable?

Why, when some people say that they want a woman that enjoys cleaning and doing laundry is that any worse than me saying that I love a woman who enjoys studying physics, playing computer games, painting paintings or building things?

Well, of course the obvious answer is that my likes doesn’t confirm to the common stereotype. By liking what I like I do not “force” women into a classic submissive role.

But what if we look further? I like certain innate characteristics, such as intelligence, and some other people enjoy other characteristics like large breasts. I like certain interests, like science, art, philosophy and so on, some other people like other interests in a woman, like cooking and laundry. Is it really that different? Do I not “force” them into a role, even if it is not the stereotypical one? Am I any more right in rejecting those women who do not conform to my standard?

Maybe, in many cases. Unfortunately, in many cases where men want things like the hypothetical men I mentioned, they do want it because they want a classical housewife who cooks and cleans and is subservient to them. That’s not good. But I don’t think that we should always be so quick to judge.

If, for instance, I was asked if I like it if a woman can cook a nice dinner for me, the truthful answer would be yes. This does not mean that I think that it is the woman’s role to cook for her man though. In fact, I love cooking for someone and when in a relationship I am very happy to do that for the one I love. That I also enjoy having someone cook me something every once in a while doesn’t mean anything.

But if people know only the fact that I like a woman who can cook well, they are often likely to assume bad things about me.

Now, as I said, this is not meant as a website about feminism, but I want to make a point regarding feminism here, especially about a certain brand of feminists: I think that it is very important to try to avoid such assumptions, if you want to further the cause of equality.

I think that whenever someone, in the name of feminism, incorrectly assumes that men are sexists, it makes those men very much less inclined to take feminism seriously. I have seen this happening very many times. All too many men who would probably do well in the fight for equality instead have a disrespectful attitude towards it, because they have been treated unfairly by people calling themselves feminists.

To achieve equality, and a world where both men and women can be who they are without being judged according to gender stereotypes, we must all work together. We should never alienate large groups of either gender by assuming things about them and judging too quickly.

That’s enough soapboxing for now. The next post will probably be back to ogling intelligent women of some kind. Whether that is more related to sexism or feminism I leave up to you to decide, to me it is nothing but a pleasant way to spend my time, since I really do love women like that.

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